Yesterday Kenny and I had our much anticipated 20 week ultrasound. We had been counting down the days for weeks hoping to finally know if we were having a boy or a girl.
After a while I began to notice the ultrasound tech acting flustered. She told us we would have to have another scan because the baby's position was preventing her from getting the necessary images. She also was unable to tell us the sex...which seemed like a big deal at the time. After the ultrasound we went across the hall to wait for our checkup. A few minutes later the doctor told us she saw something on the ultrasound. She told us it could be "nothing" but if it's something this is what it is. She then handed me a post-it with the word "Myelomeningocele" on it. She asked if we had any questions. I was blank. It had never really occurred to me that something would be wrong. It wasn't until we got home that I googled the word and realized our baby could have Spina Bifida. In one minute I went from thinking that not knowing the baby's sex was our biggest problem, to wondering if s/he would ever walk. Devastated is not a big enough word for the pain I was feeling.
Our doctor told us to wait for a phone call from the specialist. She told us we would go in for a level two ultrasound ASAP. In my mind I thought they would call any minute and we'd be out the door. No such luck. It was more than 24 hours before the office called. Your appt is Jan. 27th she said. Jan 27th?! It might as well have been Oct. 27th. How can I wait another seven days not knowing if our baby is OK?! Unfortunately we don't get to decide, so we wait...
