In May of 2012 Kenny and I welcomed our baby girl, Lucy Grace. Lucy was diagnosed with Spina Bifida when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Like many other families our experience was difficult and painful to talk about in the beginning. I have attempted to document our journey with SB so our family and friends can stay informed. Although we had some serious medical challenges in the first few months, Spina Bifida does not define our daughter or our family. Kenny and I are so lucky to have two kids we adore. This is our life with a 7 yr old and an infant....with an SB twist!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Clarity

Over the last few days I have been doing a lot of thinking. Saturday all I could think of was how sad I was and how much I was about to lose. The more time that passes though I realize that this is what we both wanted. I just wasn't willing to admit it. We got married too fast. That is a fact. After dating for just 10 weeks we did not know each other. Over the last eight years I have convinced myself that I was happily married and madly in love. When in reality I was madly in love with the idea of being happily married. I didn't want to be a failure. I kept thinking that if Mike could only do x,y,z... we would be so happy.

I get it now.

I am so sorry for all of the "why can't you just...", and "why don't you...". It was never your job to be x,y,z if it didn't make you happy.