In May of 2012 Kenny and I welcomed our baby girl, Lucy Grace. Lucy was diagnosed with Spina Bifida when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Like many other families our experience was difficult and painful to talk about in the beginning. I have attempted to document our journey with SB so our family and friends can stay informed. Although we had some serious medical challenges in the first few months, Spina Bifida does not define our daughter or our family. Kenny and I are so lucky to have two kids we adore. This is our life with a 7 yr old and an infant....with an SB twist!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Does divorce have to be ugly?

I don't think so. Neither does my husband.

Let's be clear. I am not happy about this. I love my husband. I am in-love with my husband. But my husband is not in-love with me. That sucks. That really sucks. It's not my fault. But it's not really his fault either. He tried to tell me 100 times. I wouldn't couldn't listen.

Yesterday was a terrible day. TERRIBLE. By the time I laid my head down last night my eyes were practically swollen shut. I kept thinking about all the memories. All the never-wills and mighta-beens. I thought about the questions the boy would ask and if I would ever have all the right answers. I thought about living alone. Finding a full time job after being a stay at home Mom for almost four years. I quickly went from heartbroken to terrified. How would I ever be able to get through this? I didn't have a clue.

This morning I woke up with a peace in my heart. I realize I now have a choice to make. I went out to the living room to find Mike asleep on the couch for the second night now. As he opened his eyes I told him I thought I would be ok. That I was ready to try and move forward and do whatever we need to do.

I'm ready to be friends*.

*By friends I mean I am ready to resist the urge to throw my arms around you everytime you walk into the room.